This week David shares insights of his own and the Book Club group around the topic of his favorite chakra, chakra number three aka Manipura.  He didn’t even know he had a favorite chakra, but it became evident pretty quickly once he started listening to the book. (By the way, it’s included for free on Audible if you have a subscription.) Additionally, Mindy shares an insight that came to her by way of chick tending one night. Thanks for joining us again this week. 

Wheels of Life, Chakra Three: Fire

I was enthralled with this discussion. It was one of the most beautiful discussions I’ve ever participated in. I was moved several times by the vulnerability and strength shared by those in our group. This chakra is all about personal power, autonomy, will, energy, transformation, and self-esteem. With the third chakra we begin to see what grows out of a solid stability and grounding (chakra one) and the flow of feelings and pleasure and nurturance (chakra two).

Mindy opened the book club by playing the guided meditation at the beginning of the chapter from the audiobook. Near the conclusion, the author invites the reader to feel one’s power:

“You are now a vital intersection of energy, merging, combining, exploding, radiating. Expand your awareness without and within, weaving a web of power, like a fire, growing higher and brighter. Power flows through you effortlessly, easily, calmly. You are one with the powers around you and within you.”  p149

After the meditation Mindy invited any of us to share anything about the chapter that really stood out to them. I could barely contain my excitement. The subject matter and ideas in this chapter felt so juicy to me.  I do by nature (and probably by compulsion). The Third Chakra feels like my spirit animal.

I shared a psychedelic experience I had a couple of years ago. During that experience, a mercurial entity that called itself Child Mushroom ran me through several exercises. Then it concluded with a bit of a guided meditation: “David, you live too much on the surface of yourself. I want you to see how dispersed your energy is. You strive to control more and more of what is around you. True power must be collected and concentrated deep within the center of one’s being.”

I proceeded to feel what I described to myself as a furnace burning within me right at my solar plexus. Unfamiliar with chakras, at the time, I found the experience challenging, curious, and a little crazy. Now, with the support of framing like Chakras, I see that my experience helped me to intentionally feel into and nurture that doer energy that is so much a part of me. Most of my life I struggled to trust feelings and instead turned to the resolving engine between my ears to and  anticipate and control what was happening around me. Since that experience I have felt my capacity for desire and to know my own heart grow and expand.

By becoming more trusting of feelings, not only has my relationship with my power improved, but so has my relationship with desire. So, it is unsurprising that my self-esteem has also improved.

“Self-esteem forms a good foundation for opening the heart and maintaining successful relationships. If the lower chakras have done their job, then our partner doesn't need to make us secure, interpret our feelings, or bolster our ego. We can then move more completely into the delightful experience of love.” p171

After that Mindy opened the discussion with an invitation:

“Everyone, please share a time recently when you felt your will operating in your life and maybe the satisfaction you felt as a result of doing something you put your mind to?”

“Will is consciously controlled change. As the second chakra opens dualities, we are presented with choices. Making those choices gives birth to the will.” p164

For her part, she shared that this chapter was a challenging read. It brought up how often she’s felt without power or that she’d given over her power authority figures trying to meet expectations. Others agreed with her and mentioned that they, too, found it challenging to read about power when their own experience so often found them feeling powerless or derided by a community that saw them as stepping out of place when asserting their power. Several women shared the challenges of being female in a patriarchal society and growing up in a patriarchal church. 

Mindy also shared how that day she’d done quite a bit of self-care that took some resolve and she felt so good after each activity. Tarot read. Yoga. Cold plunge. Shakti mat.

Others shared beautiful experiences of tapping into their will.

• Looking forward to skiing after a long absence due to problems with hip joint health

• A mental triumph putting together the flow for a book they have wanted to write for a while

• Being annoyed with a spiritual reading only to find over and over the miracle of that information coming alive in their life and finally embracing the part of themself that this reading helped them to see

• Finding a new sense of power after leaving a religious community where they were not thriving

One of our group shared their heartfelt experiences serving at an elder care facility. They choose to do this after the loss of their mother. Losing their mother had precipitated inconsolable grief, and they hoped that in serving, they might find some closure or relief. I was moved to tears by this person's power to choose proximity to the very experience of loss that had been so hard for them and by their apparent kindness in showing up for the people they served. What a powerful demonstration of will in service of something so challenging and beautiful. The human spirit is something truly magical to behold. 

After one shared experience of effectively receiving an order from a male religious leader to do something that would impact the mothers in a neighborhood, one of our group members spoke up (in a group text) and said the instruction seemed unnecessary. Privately several people agreed but did not speak up in the public forum.

“Fire is radiant, so the third chakra is yang and active. When afraid or feeling powerless, we withdraw and become passive and yin. We hold our movements in check and use one part of ourselves to control another. When we block our own power and expression, we are withdrawn and appear cold and controlled.” p 157

“We need to set a new and higher standard when women in our community speak up,” one of the group said, to universal nodding. When we encourage those around us, we help them find their power. It is a mistake to think that real power is power that is capable of standing alone in the face of invalidation. We talked about how some demonstrations of will are honored in society while others are scorned. 

Mindy invited the group to share their relationship with their inner dialogue, and she shared how she has worked to improve her inner dialogue, swapping “I should/I have to” with “I could,” and how that simple change ignites her sense of empowerment. When we honor our choices in life, we see our power and will be active.

“True will requires deep communication with the self, trust in your own volition, and the willingness to take risks and accept responsibility for those risks. If we dare to go against the grain by exercising our true will, then we risk criticism, ridicule, even abandonment. It's scary stuff, especially if our family environment was heavily invested in the submissive paradigm. It is through daring to use our will that a stronger sense of self is born, and through that strength the will is further developed. Like a muscle, we cannot strengthen our will without exercising it. And like all exercise, it serves us better when we do it wisely.” p166-167

The self we find when we risk exercising our will may not be universally liked. A fact not lost on anyone in attendance: more than one from our group called out how this reminded them of The Courage To Be Disliked, a book club selection from last year.

“Without agreement between will and desire, we lose our passion and our momentum, and thereby dissipate the power needed to carry out our will. In order for our will to be engaged, we must also be in touch with our desires. How can we exert our will if we don't know what we want? While undue attachment to our desires may keep us trapped in lower chakras, suppression only blocks the force of the will. When a person feels deprived, unloved, or overworked, they are easier to manipulate. The will flourishes best when we are relaxed, happy, and in touch with ourselves.” p168

Some shared experiences where they found this for themselves, practicing desire and will in areas of their life where they felt a deeper sense of control. Others shared how challenging it was for them to voice desires and how clearly desire was downstream from finding one’s power and will. It’s easy to feel stuck, to feel that inertia holding onto you.

Closing comments were about how unfortunate it is that so many people end up attempting to live life through their children, maybe because they never felt like they had enough power to choose their own paths in life. And that when we feel fully empowered to live life on our terms, to decide what we want and to go after it by harnessing our power and directing our will, we want that same experience for our children because we know just how rich and rewarding it is. 

I was impressed with how many stories of self-betterment and pushing oneself kept coming up during the conversation. This is a lovely group of people who are quite humble in their approach to life, but that humility is neither weakness nor lack of will. Everyone there shared moments when they had the courage to strive to live the life they chose for themself, and it was inspiring to listen to and witness.

—David/Gonzo

NEAT!

Things we dig, by Mindy ✨ & Gonzo⚡️

• This song. So good. Listen and see if you can find my favorite line that always makes me smile. Beauty in the World by Macy Gray ✨

• This is the smoothest & most velvety tasting coffee—it’s my go to at Java Junkies, one of our go to local coffee shops. Highlander Grogg⚡️

• We came across this resource this week and think it’s worth sharing: 10 Relationship Agreements for a Drama-Free Life

SOMETHING TO TRY

We currently have six baby chicks. Earlier this week, they were living in a box in our tub. I was dead asleep when one of them cheeped their loudest “distress signal” type of cheep. (You hang out around chicks for even a short period of time and you’ll know just what I’m talking about.) It woke me up with a start, but within a few seconds I realized what it was. My first instinct was to quiet the chick as quickly as possible so it wouldn’t disturb David, so I headed in to the bathroom, honestly expecting it just to a be a randomly loud outburst for no reason. Instead, I saw one of my sweet three day old chicks stuck on top of the eco-heating plate brooder. (You can use one of these instead of a heat lamp, it provides radiant heat and the chicks can cuddle underneath it like they would a momma hen.) It’s plastic, and a little slick, and also oriented on a slant and had the lowest edge against the wall of the box.  The little chick was unable to get her footing and was effectively trapped up there. My heart softened immediately, and I was so very glad that this little creature, with her little tiny immature nervous system had it in her to know that she was in danger and needed help! Had she stayed up there too long, she’d have gotten chilled and died, as baby chicks are unable to maintain their own body temperature at this age.  So she cheeped her very loudest cheep. And help (me) came. After safely getting her down, I scooted the heater away from the wall so no one else would encounter that same problem. As I tucked myself back into bed, I couldn’t help but think about how when any organism, not just a tiny baby chick, experiences fear, the very best energy to bring is that of  gentleness, compassion, and understanding. I also couldn’t help but think of the last time I was overcome with fear, and how instead of showing up gently for myself, I showed up with judgment and self-criticism. Can we show up for each other and ourselves with the softened heart I felt towards that little chick? Sometimes we don’t even recognize fear for what it is, because we use our brains to figure out ways to cover it up and show it differently. So my something to try this week is to notice when fear shows up in our lives or the lives of those we love and see if we can respond with the energy we would extend to a sweet & helpless baby chick. (Did you think I was going to recommend living with baby chicks? Well, that’s a pretty neat thing to try, too!)

—Mindy

PARTING

WORDS

PIC

That’s all for this week! If you’re into this, share this newsletter with all your friends. Connecting with new subscribers is magical! 🧚🏻‍♀️

DISCLAIMER: This newsletter is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice.