Happy Sunday!

Mindy shares about her 90-day striving sabbatical, and how in the absence of her regular practice of Input, Input, and more Input she’s been confronted with thoughts spinning. The beauty of what she’s finding in her self and the generative energy she’s finding has been delightful to witness.

Mindy has always had a facility for self-expression in her writing but so often I’ve hungered for just the emotion. She’s such a passionate and vibrant human but so often it’s just below the surface. This week we all get a chance to feel into the experience of Mindy fleshing out the experience of being.

—david/gonzo

I am twenty-plus days into a 90 day hiatus from reading my usual fare of spiritual, informational, consciousness-expanding, growth-oriented books. Possibly more about that in a future newsletter. My brain misses having juicy stuff to chew on that’s not of my own making. But it has been interesting to see what has come up to be sat with and worked through. And one of the surprising byproducts of taking a break from input is that I’ve felt more pushed to create, to generate output. I have found myself mulling over ideas, and feeling like the thoughts almost want to spiral and loop in the old anxious ways, and I’ve found that I can slow down the looping by maneuvering the thoughts into a poem. And that there is a surprising sense of completion and release after I get the poem recorded. The other day I was in the thick of processing some feelings and thinking about an issue regarding a couple of my kids, and in the process of writing the poem, I had some really powerful insights and clarity come to me.

Writing poetry is interesting to me because it feels like such a gamble that it will resonate with anyone else. I know i have a strong desire to be understood, so the benefit of prose is that one can ramble on for a while and hope that some level of understanding is reached. Poetry, on the other hand, is served well by brevity. As my high school English teacher (who I friended on Facebook about a year ago) commented on a poem I shared back in May, “Poetry is about economy. Sound and image are the ribs. Your emotion and relationships are the flesh. See how easy that is.”

Piece of cake, Mrs. Ascuena! 😆

This week I wanted to share some of the poems I’ve written recently. It would be lovely if one of more of them connected with you, even a little bit.

-Mindy

BOXED

There’s an upside to being put in a box
That obviously doesn’t fit. 
Where your head sticks out or 
Maybe your legs.
Right away you realize 
That those who put you in the box
Obviously can’t see you
So you start to figure out your 
Escape. 
You might even escape immediately.

But when you’re put in a box that 
almost fits
Or maybe actually fits okay
There’s a risk that you’ll 
Just settle in and try and make it 
Comfortable.
Maybe with a pillow here
Or a few more air holes.

But one day you wake up 
And see that 
YOU ARE IN A FUCKING BOX
And you never wanted to be there.

So you leave. 

VOICE

Sitting this morning
With the hurt I’ve inflicted
On myself
To protect myself from hurt.

The voice of the inner critic
Sounds a lot like my parents
The booming thunder of my dad
When he was angry
Which was often.
And the harsh judgment of my mom.
With their powers combined…

I see that this part of me
Wants to help me avoid pain
But her tools are sorely
In need of an upgrade.

CAUGHT

Can I capture the thoughts
In words and put them here
Will it stop them from endlessly looping?
Can they be nailed
to this paper
and leave me in peace?
I hope so.
I’ll let you know
If it works.

NEAT!

Stuff we think is neat enough to share! (David⚡️ & Mindy✨) Yes, sometimes it is only music.

• This song is pretty dope. 🍋 🎶 ⚡️

• Gizmo Varillas has some great songs AND shares a first name with our chihuahua. Here’s two I really like: Love Heals With Time and World Through My Window. 🎶✨

• I’m not sure who found this one first, but we both love it. Stockholmsvy. 🎶 ✨ ⚡️

PARTING

WORDS

PIC

That’s all for this week! If you’re into this, share this newsletter with all your friends. Connecting with new subscribers is magical! 🧚🏻‍♀️

DISCLAIMER: This newsletter is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice.