The value of defining your own values is they feel much sexier than those that are placed on us. This week, Mindy writes about her experience defining her values and finding support in Tarot cards. She explores how these tools can provide insight, comfort, and a fresh perspective on life's challenges. So whether you're new to the world of Tarot or you pull a card to decide what to Doordash, come along for a journey of self-discovery and empowerment.

—Gonzo

If you have spent any time in alternative/plant medicine/energy work circles, you’ve likely encountered tarot and oracle cards. For most of my life, I looked at them with varying degrees of suspicion and derision. “Oh sure, some cards are going to tell you what to do with your life.” 🙄 When I was a believing Christian (of the Mormon variety), I could see how of course they were a sort of false god or a priestcraft or satanic or some other phrase used by religious people to dismiss things out of hand without having to look at them more deeply. I didn’t see any value in other people using them, and certainly wasn’t going to use them myself. After I left the religion I’d been raised in, I looked at them with less suspicion but still negatively. It seemed like substituting one supernatural superstition for another. Perhaps less pernicious than turning over my power to a bearded white guy in the sky, but I still couldn’t see any value in using them. As my religious faith crumbled, I found it hard to see the appeal of “spirituality.” I remember driving in the car and having the epiphany that you can just believe whatever you want. If that’s true, then why choose to believe anything? Who needs it? 

Back in February of 2021, I did a Saturday online workshop that included a Value Card sort. This was being offered by a therapist sister of a friend of mine. My religious faith had been actively collapsing over the previous 9 years, and I found myself feeling adrift spiritually. I’d spent four decades of my life ascribing to values that I was never consulted on. It was like I’d been handed a box as a child containing Beliefs and Values, and I carried that with me, consulting it anytime I needed to answer questions or figure out priorities or a course of action. Many of the values were good ones, but they didn’t feel like mine. I’ll be honest: it was a little intimidating to think about defining my own values. What if it turned out I was a selfish, shallow person, and the only thing keeping me “good” actually was the constrictions of religion? Oof. Well, better to know now, I guess? 

We sorted the 80+ cards, selecting the 20-30 that resonated most into a pile of “Important to Me,” and putting the rest in a “Not Important to Me” pile.  It was fascinating to look at values like Justice, Order, Knowledge, Intimacy, Honesty, Humility, World Peace, etc and to realize that some of them just didn’t jump out as truly Important to Me. Obviously they were good, but I didn’t feel called to embrace them or use them to help me navigate my existence. We then further reduced that former group into those that we could say were “Very Important to Me.” We took those and looked for natural groupings to get an idea of what we could call our core values and priorities. We then were invited to look at what we were currently doing in our lives in terms of work and relationships and hobbies and see how that aligned, or didn’t align, with our values. Doing this was amazingly insightful, and I gained a lot of encouragement from it. It turned out I did have my own values guiding my life, but they were operating on a subconscious level. Now by bringing them into my conscious awareness, I could experience the satisfaction of seeing them operational in my life, and I could turn to them when making decisions. One value that kind of surprised me by how strongly I felt about it was “Openness: to be open to new experiences, ideas, and options.” Like I said, I’d spent most of my life operating out from a place with a lot of certainty borne out of a high demand religion. I don’t think Openness makes the cut for Mormon values. Over the next few months, I thought about this value often as I encountered new ideas and possibilities. It has been lovely to reflect on the beautiful things that have come into my life by embracing this ideal. Identifying and acting on this value of mine was what opened me up to exploring energy work and plant medicines generally.

So in August of 2022, I was attending a yearly recurring family camp with women and their children. I think it was our third or 4th time attending, and I’d seen women with their tarot cards in the past and had no interest. But this year, I felt open to it. I asked a woman named Laurie to do a reading for me, not really expecting much but again feeling open to it. The previous 12 months had been quite a ride. We’d completely cut ties with church after a child came out to us as LGBTQ, and I’d been pretty actively deconstructing what remained in the realms of my faith and belief. I no longer felt like I was trying to hold on to the few parts of my religion that resonated with me, as I had been the previous decade. I’d spent so long in the “nuanced believer” space, thinking I’d remain there indefinitely. Being completely out was freeing but also challenging. I hadn’t realized how core to my identity being Mormon was. It seemed there were tendrils of it everywhere inside myself. I was wanting something in the way of insight/reassurance, but I didn’t know where to get that. Laurie had a few different card reading spreads to pick from, and I chose a three card “Release/Embrace.” The first card would be the focus/central message. The second would be Release This. And the third would be Embrace This. Seemed pretty straightforward.  She gave me the deck to shuffle and spread out, and then I selected three cards. 

My central message card was The Moon. As she read the description from the book, emotions started to well up in my heart. My eyes got teary. “Illusions, hidden truths, the unknown, trusting your intuition, facing your fears…When we’re faced with uncertainty and illusion, it can feel like we are drowning. Trust that you will be okay, even if you can’t seem to distinguish up from down right now…The Moon card asks you to go within, find comfort in the darkness, and to calmly listen to the whispers of your own intuition. There is divinity and magic here.”  

My Release This card was The Ace of Swords. This card is all about clarity, with the shadow being clouded judgment. For me, in terms of releasing, I felt that this was a call to release my hold on clear understanding for the time being. 

My Embrace This card was The Tower. From the guidebook, “unexpected change, chaos, the rug pulled from beneath your feet, beliefs challenged, new awareness and perspectives, being unsure of who you are…Whoa. Buckle up and expect the unexpected. Sometimes we resist change to the point that the Universe shifts in a destructive and chaotic way that fundamentally changes how we see our reality. There is a strange beauty in this deconstruction–as all of the elements for a better life will be found amongst the rubble. Use this moment to rebuild something foundational, something extraordinary. Trust that you will be held by the Universe…Tower moments are powerful…The Tower energy in your life marks a period when you get to reevaluate, redirect, reestablish and realign.”

If The Moon card got the tears welling up, The Tower card caused them to spill over. Were these cards telling me my future? No. But they were helping me to see what was going on in my life with more clarity. To give some framing to what I was experiencing. To craft a narrative about the current turbulence and uncertainty that gave me hope and courage. I felt both seen and empowered by the reading. I wrote down some notes in my phone to remember what stood out to me: “1. Being okay walking in the space where things are not super illuminated, it’s okay to follow my intuition and also to not know everything about why I’m doing what I’m doing and what will come next. 2. Letting go of the need for clarity and clear understanding. 3. Tower falling: the place that was my home has fallen and isn’t my home anymore. It’s okay for it to be left in the past. Trust that I will be held by the universe, and will be stronger and more resilient as a result.” 

To say I was surprised by both the reading and my response to it would be a gross understatement. As soon as I returned from camp, I ordered my own copy of the deck. My view on tarot and oracle cards, along with crystals and other such things, completely changed. I realized how valuable these tools can be, for self-inquiry, self-awareness, and intention setting. We are bombarded with external voices in the form of family, social media, books, podcasts, videos, and just our day to day interactions with other people. There is no shortage of people who will tell you what to do with your life or what you should want. It can be challenging to carve out time to sit purposefully with yourself and ask what you want, what you think, or what story you want to weave out of your lived experiences. I know that doing this was something I never had modeled. Growing up religious, I felt like I was told what to desire and also what meaning to make out of my experiences. I was given a checklist and a standard to measure myself against. The question I most asked of myself was how am I falling short and what more I should be doing. 

Humans are meaning-making machines. Whether you believe there is some sort of purposeful force acting in the universe or not, the reality is that we all seem to need some sort of meaning framework to keep doing the things that life requires. We can choose to be reactive to life’s events, or we can choose to live with intention. Be in a pinball batted with whatever paddles and springs show up, or be an agent acting with awareness. Sitting with cards or crystals invites a person to check in with themself, to notice what is active and alive in them right now, to think about what they want, and to be open to their own intuition and inspiration. Identifying your own values can help you see yourself as an empowered agent, acting as a force in this world. 

In the two-plus years since this card reading, I’ve collected more card decks, more crystals and rocks, and a nice set of Norse runes. Not every time I pull cards or runes do I have a profound experience like I did that first time. But I have had a number of beautiful and powerful experiences, and I always feel like I benefit from taking the time to check in with myself and see where I’m at. What are the concerns of my heart right now? Is there something I’m not seeing in a relationship with someone? I’m feeling low, is there maybe a comforting idea that I can grab hold of right now? Similarly, I have spiritual books by authors like Pema Chödrön, Thich Nhat Hanh, Ram Dass, Alan Watts, Tara Brach, and others. I can open these to almost any passage and get a bit of inspiration or wisdom to reflect on. Spending time with yourself with curiosity and awareness is a way of showing yourself that you matter. These soul-feeding habits of intention have so enriched my life that I’ve enjoyed sharing them with others. That’s why I felt like writing about this for this week’s newsletter. If this is something that interests you even a little bit, go ahead and pick up a deck and give it a try. You might be pleasantly surprised to see what comes up. 

Writing this, I found myself amused and a little surprised, realizing that the Value Workshop was only three years ago. Back then I felt aimless and adrift spiritually. I had a hard time imagining what spirituality outside of religion might look like. I recently came across a definition of spirituality that I just love: “Spirituality is a deep and loving sense of connection with all life.”  

Identifying my values and using tools such as tarot and oracle cards has helped me cultivate a deeper and more loving sense of connection with myself and my inner wisdom. Learning to turn inward with curiosity and gentleness and trusting that I’ll find good things there has helped me find a truer sense of self. As a result I’ve been able to figure out how to show up more authentically and more lovingly in every aspect of my life. I will forever be tremendously grateful for tools like these that have crossed my path. 

—Mindy

NEAT!

Stuff we dig, by David⚡️ & Mindy✨

• Nobody was more surprised than me (except maybe Mindy) when I realized that I, too, found benefit in tarot cards. A friend had this David Bowie inspired deck that I had to have because it’s so cool.

• Mindy found the Sol Tarot deck, inspired by Dune, but rebranded to avoid copyright suite, and she gave it to me as gift. I love it! ⚡️

• It’s encouraging and kinda cool to see the growth in scientific curiosity around stuff that’s been so helpful to us. Effects of Psychedelic Microdosing versus Conventional ADHD Medication use on Emotion Regulation, Empathy, and ADHD Symptoms in Adults with severe ADHD symptoms: A Naturalistic Prospective Comparison Study. ⚡️

• We are a game-playing household, and this PICTURES game has been a hit with all our kids and the friends we’ve played it with. Thanks to Kristen and Charles for introducing it to us! ✨

• Overthinking is Underfeeling ✨

• 🎶 Anything You Want - Not That by Belleruche ✨

SOMETHING TO TRY

It can be a little daunting to jump into finding a deck as a beginner. Here’s a quick overview.

Most Tarot decks follow a pretty standard format, comprised of the Major & Minor Arcanas. The Major Arcana (22 cards) address “life lessons, karmic influences and the big archetypal themes that are influencing your life and your soul's journey to enlightenment.” 

I think of these as the aspects of the Hero’s Journey that are pretty commonly experienced in various ways throughout life. The rest of the tarot deck is the Minor Arcana, which “reflect the trials and tribulations that we experience on a daily basis. These Tarot cards highlight the more practical aspects of life and can refer to current issues that have a temporary or minor influence.” If you’re interested in getting started with tarot, I recommend getting a deck that includes a guidebook. Guided Tarot is a great guide, but the mini guidebooks can be a more beginner-friendly jumping-off point. 

Oracle decks are less structured and often have cards and explanations that relate to that theme. Sometimes there is a guidebook with more info, and sometimes there isn’t. A few decks I have are Moonology, Power of Love, Spirit Junkie, Rumi, and Urban Crow oracle decks. 

PARTING

WORDS

PIC

That’s all for this week! If you’re into this, share this newsletter with all your friends. Connecting with new subscribers is magical! 🧚🏻‍♀️

DISCLAIMER: This newsletter is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice.