Happy Sunday!

This week, Mindy dives deep into the intricacies of thought and its often-overlooked consequences. As she steps back from her habitual intake of new information, Mindy discovers the intricate dance between thinking, feeling, and doing through the Enneagram's Three Centers of Intelligence lens.

I like to remind Mindy: “I don’t think things through. I trust my brain to figure it out while I learn by doing.” And yes, that gets me into trouble all the time. I like how Mindy challenges us to consider the balance between intellectual contemplation and the practical, sensory experiences that ground us in the present.

Join us as we consider new ways to balance our inner dialogues and find a richer existence.

— David/Gonzo

“Thinking is a trip into what’s not happening.” –Paul Hedderman

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about thinking. As I continue my break from input seeking, I have noticed my brain wanting to chew on something novel at times and I’m like, “Sorry! No trips to the metaphorical grocery store now. Make do with what’s in the pantry.” 

A friend of mine came across a quote in the book “The Hunger Habit” and sent it to me, thinking it might resonate: “Your brain rumbles in a similar manner [like a hungry stomach], urging you to see out information until it has enough that it is satisfied.”  YES!

Back in grad school, David and I took a communications course and the instructor said, while discussing effective ways to write about science, that there are two types of people: high need for cognition (HNC) and low need for cognition (LNC). This ended up being the most memorable thing from that class, and I’ve thought about it often and found it to be useful in understanding how to engage with people on different topics. If they are LNC, then in depth discussions with them are really just not on the table.  

On the flip side, my own struggles with anxiety offer an abundance of personal evidence that thinking isn’t some unalloyed good. There’s plenty of times when I want to use the wisdom of this little comic, directed to my brain: 

As I’ve worked to free myself from the negative aspects of thinking, I’ve found myself looking to see if there’s a balance between thinking and not thinking, and what exactly “not thinking” entails of and what it really looks like. On this vein, I’ve found a lot of utility in the framework of the Enneagram and what are called the Three Centers of Intelligence. The Enneagram has a number of triads that the nine types fall into, which can feel overwhelming to grasp when you’re just diving into the framework, but after some familiarity is gained becomes very helpful in seeing paths of growth and expansion. 

The Three Centers of Intelligence (CoI) are the Heart (feeling), the Head (thinking), and the Body (instinct and sensation, “doing”). Each type leads with one CoI, follows with another, and is repressed in the third. For example, as a Type 4 I lead with feeling, follow with thinking, and am doing repressed. So a path of growth for me is to focus more on doing. When I was first getting into the Enneagram, I heard an interview with Enneagram expert and author Suzanne Stabile where she talked about Fours having feelings, then thoughts about the feelings, then feelings about those thoughts, then more thoughts, into a potentially endless spiral. I laughed but also cringed, because it hit so close to home. It turns out when you spend so much energy feeling and thinking, it’s easy to run out of steam and never get around to doing. 

Something that gets in my way of doing is not knowing how much thinking is enough. I can’t count the number of times I’ve tried to purchase something but gotten overwhelmed in the research stage, looking at all the different options available and reading reviews until all the features and potential drawbacks are swimming in my head, only to give up and either have to pass it along to David or try again another day. Honestly, I think the Internet is evidence of just how much our society values the Head over the other Centers of Intelligence. We put children in school at a young age and they spend thousands of hours over the course of their childhood being indoctrinated into Thinking Supremacy. It’s small wonder that we have an epidemic of anxiety and other mental health struggles in this country. Thinking is what earns the gold stars in school, and later the prestige and big bucks in so many industries. But an imbalance, but individually and culturally, comes with a cost. 

I actually don’t  know what the right balance is between thinking and doing and feeling, and it probably varies between people and also is situation dependent, but I have learned that when I take regular breaks from thinking, I am a lot happier. Thinking breaks can be found in meditation, but really meditation for me seems more like practicing not getting carried away by my thoughts, not buying into them. Thoughts come up and, sitting as I am with the intention to meditate, I notice them but don’t engage. Or if I do engage, I remember pretty quickly that thinking isn’t what this time is about. Really one of the best ways I’ve found to get breaks from thinking is by doing. Doing something that requires enough of my attention so my brain needs to pay attention. I think this is how a lot of people define flow state, and why it’s so pleasant. We absolutely need breaks from thinking. Dancing, drumming, crafting, and riding my motorcycle are all good ways to get into that space for me. But with some intention, even less enthralling tasks can provide a break from thinking. Doing the dishes with a lot of attention on the sensory experience, or walking with the same openness to what is present outside and the sensations of the body instead of what’s happening inside the mind. 

Feeling is also a break from thinking, but feelings so quickly turn to thoughts for many people, so this can be a harder place to engage. Sitting quietly and really checking in with different feelings in our bodies can be a powerful way to work with emotions. So many of the emotions we don’t want to acknowledge end up being held in our bodies, and we get used to the various discomforts caused by the tension. If this is something you’d like to try, check out the link in this week’s Try Something. It’s so important to recognize that we have spent so much time training our minds that many of our bodies have nearly given up trying to communicate with us. Research into this area suggests that repressed and unaddressed emotions are behind a significant amount of chronic pain.  

This is the part where I would like to have a nice little wrapup for this, but it’s an ongoing conversation in my head, so I expect it will show up here again. After writing this earlier this week, I spent the next couple days cleaning and organizing the garage. I’ve spent the last 22 years fully immersed in raising kids and homeschooling, managing lots of tasks that are often short in duration but some degree of urgent. As my kids transition to needing less of the same kind of hands-on intensity, I find myself with time and energy to tackle bigger projects, but not necessarily the “thinking processes” to do so. I’ve gotten so used to fitting myself into the cracks of the demands on my time that I have felt a little unmoored with more time at my disposal. It’s interesting how life changes and requires growth and expansion of us in uncharted places. 

Till next time.

–Mindy

NEAT!

Stuff we think is neat enough to share! (David⚡️ & Mindy✨)

• I’ve been listening to Ondara a fair bit this week. Check out these two songs: Lebanon and  American Dream. The whole album is pretty great, honestly. ✨

• And this was a song Spotify gave me while mowing the yard. I really like it.✨

• I really like AI and machine learning and I love reframings of common understanding so I was very happy to see What’s Really Going on in Machine Learning from one of my favorite technical thinkers, Stephen Wolfram.⚡️

SOMETHING TO TRY

PARTING

WORDS

PIC

That’s all for this week! If you’re into this, share this newsletter with all your friends. Connecting with new subscribers is magical! 🧚🏻‍♀️

DISCLAIMER: This newsletter is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice.