Happy Sunday!

Mindy and I have spent a lot of time this month talking about intention and the ideas that attend it. I’m really enjoying this approach as it opens more time and space to consider different perspectives on the same concept. We’ve gone back and forth, tossing around ideas and thinking through how to set ourselves up for an enjoyable time contributing our individual ideas. I love how her reflections open up new layers for me to consider, things I wouldn’t have seen on my own.

What follows is Mindy’s reflection on everything we’ve explored together this month. She has this way of capturing the heart of things that feels so grounded and clear. I’m grateful for the chance to read her words, to see her thoughts take shape, and to encourage her as her ideas came together.

—david/gonzo

I’ve really enjoyed spending time with the idea of intention this month. Today, I met for coffee with a high school friend who is in the process of dismantling the company he’s owned and run for the past six years as it’s sold to a previous competitor. And it sucks just as much as you might imagine. But he told me of some silver linings amongst the clouds, and we had a chance to chat about how, even when we can’t control the what of our lives, we have so much influence over the how. And closely paired with the how is the why.

Over coffee, my friend shared this beautiful story about how he and his team approached the end of their journey together. They threw a big party—not to lament what might have been but to celebrate all they had done. Even though the outcome wasn’t what any of them would have chosen at the start, they leaned into honoring the effort, the connections, and the shared experience. Some team members even got tattoos to commemorate their time together—tattoos done by one of their colleagues who moonlights as a tattoo artist. My friend told me he’s planning to get one, too, a small but meaningful reminder of what they built together. I loved this idea of marking the end of one chapter not with bitterness but with gratitude, carrying forward a symbol of resilience and camaraderie.

So much of the whats of our lives can feel dictated by outside forces. When we are kids, so much of our time is scheduled for us, starting so young that we may not even think about it. As adults, we have jobs, family tasks, and household chores. The whats can often feel like demands we forget having chosen. We wake up early to wake our high schooler up and help him get out the door. That’s the what, and it’s important. But the how is more important. Both David and I try to make a gentle wake-up experience for our son. And if it sometimes takes a few attempts, it’s okay. We understand that teenage sleep cycles make that early wake-up challenging. I remember a very different how playing out between my parents and an older brother during his high school years. And the why is that we want our son to feel supported and maximize the good energy he has to face his day.

Sometimes we have direct control over the whats, but we manage to get a little muddled on the hows. If I’m beat after a long day and I just want to relax and watch some TV, I know that the most relaxing way to do that is to set my phone aside and give the show my full attention. Watching with half attention just doesn’t yield the same result. Reduced attention equals reduced presence equals reduced enjoyment. I think I’m a pretty good multitasker, though I guess that term has been replaced by task-switcher, and it’s not viewed with the same positive spin as it was in the past (this feels a little like a targeted attack against us ADHD/ADD types... it used to be a superpower 😉). It can be hard to really focus my attention on one thing, but I sure notice the difference when I do.

Even something as mundane (and frequent) as getting on social media can be improved by being mindful of my intentions—the how and why. I might be wanting to connect with friends, get some laughs, or find inspiration or information. Having an intention helps us filter out the things that won’t serve us at that time. No, my intention wasn’t to get filled with annoyance, anger, or envy… time to disengage.

Intention, with its accompanying partner attention, is what gives life its juiciness. It’s the difference between snarfing down food while standing at the counter and taking the time to plate it and eat at the table. Both result in the same what, but the difference in satisfaction is significant. If our intention was to nourish ourselves, how much more nourishing is it to take a little more time and attention for ourselves? David tells a great story of his younger brother who would, on occasion, set out his bowl of cereal with a side of toast, a glass of juice, and maybe some fruit so it looked just like the commercials of the 1980s, and then would declare, “A complete breakfast!”

I imagine that he felt a lot of satisfaction and happiness taking the extra effort to craft this experience for himself. Seemingly simple acts—like intentionally plating a meal—can set the tone for how we approach other areas of life. What other everyday rituals could benefit from this same attention to how?

A thought I’ve had this week is that seeing our intentions more clearly can often shine a light on what we really want in and from our lives. Asking what we want out of different experiences, how we want to show up, and why we are engaged in the first place helps us key into what we want our lives to feel like. Several years ago, I realized that so much of enjoying vacation came from letting myself off the hook from my usual responsibilities and worries. I felt open to whatever showed up in front of me that day. But where I live is filled with things to notice and appreciate, too. By adjusting how I approach my everyday life, my felt experience can change drastically.

As I’ve spent time reflecting on intention this month, I keep coming back to the question: how do we sustain it? Intention, for all its power, is ephemeral—a spark that can so easily fade if we don’t nurture it. The pitfalls of expectation and the challenges of parsing the what, why, and how have shown me just how much effort it takes to stay aligned with our deepest values. It’s one thing to identify our intentions, but it’s another to keep them alive and present in the flow of daily life. Last week David referenced Ram Dass’ surfing analogy from Be Here Now. Intention is what allows us to navigate through the waves and currents of life, responsive to what is happening around us, but influencing our experience with the most powerful tool we have.

And maybe that’s where rituals come in—not as mindless routines but as intentional practices that ground us in the how and remind us of the why. If intention is the compass, perhaps rituals are the trail markers that remind us of the course we want to follow, keeping us on course even when the terrain gets rough or the path feels unclear. Rituals can be spaces where we can honor our intentions and reconnect with what matters most to us.

So, as we move into February, I’m curious: what would it look like to craft rituals that make intention tangible? How can we transform our everyday habits into acts of alignment, small but powerful ways of showing up for ourselves and the lives we want to live? Looking forward to diving into these ideas together next month. Thanks for joining us.

-Mindy

NEAT!

Stuff we think is neat enough to share! (David⚡️ & Mindy✨)

• A nice piece about tips to bring that vacation mindset into everyday life and reap the benefits. ✨

• David and I both agree that the coolness of this song 1996 by Wild Child is a different kind of cool than we were experiencing that year. 😄🎶✨

• Tum Rakak is one of those songs where the lyrics make just enough sense to really be puzzling. But it sure does slap! 🎶✨

• Nantes by Beirut has a perfect amount of cacophony to be simply delightful to me. 🎶✨

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DISCLAIMER: This newsletter is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice.